Kate

You may call her Kate, Katie, Katies, or Katet. (Buy her a drink and you can call her Katja.)

Kate has nice warm hands and she makes people laugh while she's rubbing her hands over their body. She used to reside in South Australia (home of the Frog Cakes), but relocated to Melbourne, much to the dismay of her clients. Kate is good at her massage, but don't worry, by massage it's real massage, not the kinky stuff - she won't do that even if you do offer to double her money.

She tells funny stories and she's also good because she lends books and videos - don't get her started on the Little Mermaid movie though, that's her favourite. Also, don't ever mention Hanson (that band that had a minor hit so many years ago) or you'll never get her to shut up! People have tried to educate her in the ways of good, wholesome music (such as Norah Jones) but she's quite a stubborn young lady, and hopefully her tastes will mature as she gets a bit more life experience (and a better CD collection.) Her choices in television programs is also a bit questionable too by the way, favouring shows such as Desperate Housewives, Veronica Mars and Supernatural among Family Guy, He-Man and the Masters Of The Universe and The Simpsons. Hex and Dead Like Me also rate a mention.

Show her the beverage made from potato - staple of the Motherland - and she shall magically transform into KATJA - RUSSIAN MAIL-ORDER BRIDE. She will sing the Russian national anthem for you, complain about the quality of Ze Vodka from anywhere except Russia and Sveden and the force of gravity, and toast to everything that reminds her of the great Mothercountry, the one she left behind in order to make life better for her yet-to-be-born beh-behs to husband Boris, who is rockstar in Russia but only lowly cosmonaut outside of the great Homeland. She also discovers she has toes ("but not 10..."), cannot feel her knees, and will poke her eyelids just to make sure she still has feeling in her face.

Apart from that, she's not too bad as a person, and when she's got make-up on she's a bit of a hottie! But don't ever offer her chocolates or she'll eat them all.

Peace yo.
Motherland, out.<.p>

She loves LIVEJOURNAL: http://smoothlovah.livejournal.com/